Snow day!

So who was it that told me when I first moved to Ranskill that 'it never snows here!' Huh, yeah right. The past four winters have seen that white powdery stuff fall upon me in varying degrees. The first and second years it was a weekend of snowy madness as we all relished in the novelty of it. Thankfully it didn't stick round for too long. Last year we had that much snow I had to get three of the neighbours to push the car out of the driveway just so I could get to the supermarket for some groceries. Walking to school wasn't particularly pleasant either as the snow was that deep it went in over the top of my gumboots (that wellies for all you English people) and just about froze off my toes - that was after the unceremonious face plant that occurred when I slipped and fell trying to carry Shahni through the worst of it!
So this year my spirits were high when we managed to get to Christmas and New Year without even a whiff of a snowflake. In fact I was quite pleased with the mildness of the winter (if there is such a thing). But my smugness soon turned to gloom as the milder weather turned icy cold and the first flakes made their way down. We had a few days of snow, and thankfully it wasn't too bad, in fact I think the best thing about it was that I was able to walk across the newly seeded green at the front of our estate without feeling the wrath and glaring eyes of the neighbours.
So here are a few pictures of our morning in the snow, but don't be deceived as I had to just about kick the kids to get them out of the house (actually just the boys really, Shahni was more than happy to go) and then I had to make Tristan stay out for longer than five minutes and even then he snuck back in to make himself a cup of tea! He obviously has not acclimatised yet as he still insists upon wearing his coat practically 24hrs a day!

This pretty much sums up Caillan's thoughts on the matter. Perhaps he's Australian after all!

This was obviously taken within the first thirty seconds of him setting foot outside!

My little snow angel! She had an absolute blast playing out.

So if any of you are wondering where Shane was while the rest of us were out freezing our backsides off, after I insisted he go and pick up our car from a friends house he very kindly (and quickly) volunteered to stay in and cook us all a roast dinner. Hmmm very convenient.

So the snow has melted now and the birds can be heard a-tweeting outside (I've even managed to get a load of washing dry on the line)the promise of spring is upon us. As I dwell on the joys of warmer weather - and more importantly the ability to boot the kids outside to play - I have to first go pack my bags for my trip back to Oz where I am hoping to be reacquainted with my old friend sunshine! Get your sunnies on though, cause my legs are whiter than a pair of Snow White's knickers!

Australia Day

So yesterday was Australia Day and I hope all my Australian friends and family back home enjoyed the day. Unfortunately, apart from the cursory flying of the flag out the study window (I keep asking Shane for a flag pole but he has yet to agree to that) the Aussies in this house had to forego the customary thongs and singlet, for coats, scarves, and gumboots. The BBQ and fireworks were sorely missed but as I am on the countdown to my trip back home (only 40 days to go!) I did not get too depressed about missing out - although I did get to see some fireworks on TV as they interrupted the Federer v Nadal Australian Open semi-final match (and didn't the commentators have a whinge about that too).

The subject of nationality often arises in our house - to those few that I managed to write and give a Christmas card too this year you will have noted that it was signed 'From the Aussies + Caillan' - and it has never crossed our minds NOT to get Caillan his Australian citizenship. Shane and the kids will be able to have dual nationality also, and eventually I suppose I will get round to arranging mine as well (for the ease of travelling with a red passport instead of a blue one) but I wonder if I'd be so keen to do it if it meant that I would have to give up my Australian citizenship. The resolute answer is NO. I couldn't do it. But what needs to be asked then is 'Why?' 'Why is it so important?'After all, all it means is that I give up one passport? Why is national identity so important to us? Obviously, opinions and responses to this will be varied and at times, downright controversial, additionally, and as I'm not that familiar with the field of political science and philosophy (and any other field that claims to have the answer) I can't really put my finger on it, but what I do know is that, for me, it is my one absolute link to a part of my identity that no one can take away from me. The accent may go, and perhaps I'll stop being interested in sports (ha, yeah right), and living on the other side of the world certainly makes you turn to stereotypes just so that you can still feel connected to the life that you have left behind, but the reality is that while I may not be in Australia, I'll never stop being Australian!

New Year's resolution

New Year. New Year's resolution. For most this is roughly about the time of year when all those well-intentioned promises start to fall by the wayside. (Of course, that is provided you've made any at all) Generally, the resolutions that people make at the beginning of the year are just half-arsed attempts to fool themselves for a little while that they can be better, do better, or just fit into that one pair of jeams that they've desperately been clinging onto in the hopes that one day soon they'll miraculously wake up and discover they've no longer got three chins, fat thighs, and a muffin top!

The reality is though that they don't really want it, or more importantly, they're not prepared to work for it. If you take it seriously, the whole point of a resolution is to not only identify something in your life that you are not happy with, but change it. But change does not come easy in most cases. Changing habits and lifestyles does not come by merely recognising that things need to be different. They come through hardwork, dedication, and willpower.

For the past two years I have made a real effort with my New Year's resolutions, I've treated them seriously and really put a lot of thought into them. The first year I decided that I needed to go out and make some new friends. Moving to the other side of the world was (relatively) easy, but putting yourself out there to meet new people and make new friends is a bit more of a challenge. So, I went along to a local community meeting and while there I met three new people who I've now become great friends with. I got more involved with the community and I even started kickboxing at the local hall! Resolution number one ... check.

So having made some new friends my resolution last year was a common one. I needed to lose weight and become healthier. Sound familiar? For me though, losing weight was more to do with self-confidence and self-esteem. I knew that shifting ten years' worth of excess weight was not going to be easy but I knew that if I could do it, then I would feel so much better about myself. It was really hard work and the first three days of 'healthy eating' were torturous as I had to wean myself off of my one true love (chocolate) and start to make a conscious effort to eat better foods and make better choices. This, combined with an extra kickboxing lesson a week, and I started to see some results. I took a good 8 months but I have managed to lose 15kg and keep it off. I'm well on my way. Resolution number two ... check.

The problem is that now that I'm spending all this time socialising and exercising (as well as full-time uni), I seem to have lost focus of what's most important in my life. My family. So this year's resolution is simply 'Family'. Spending more time together and doing the things that families should. Of course this will be no easy task as there are some very bad habits that need to be broken, but I'm sure that with a bit of persistence I can make it work. Of course there needs to be a balance between them all, it's finding that balance that is the tricky part. Sunday is now 'Family Day' and it's a day where we all just hang out together. We play board games, watch a movie, go bowling, take a walk round the lake, or whatever else takes our fancy. We don't spend it cleaning, doing jobs or sat with our faces glued to a computer screen.

So it's the end of January and we are still going strong. The TV is off and I'm about to go and play cars with Caillan, vroom vroom xx

Life Lessons

This week has been quite a challenging one for the children. Both, in fact all three, have been confronted with some serious life lessons which they have had to learn how to accept and deal with. As a parent, while it can be easy to let your emotions take over and control your actions and reactions, what is most important is that you take a step back and look at the situation from a different perspective.

A note in Shahni's diary this week requesting that I speak to her about 'who is telling lies' initially left me feeling both dumbfounded and cross, I know she is no angel, but lying ... really? When I sat her down to talk about it she started crying and refused to tell me what had happened. I realised that while she has learned the basic rules of social expectations, i.e. basic manners and respect, a situation like the consequences of lying has never really presented itself before. She knew that lying was wrong, but she didn't fully comprehend the consequences of it. Until now!

I decided then that getting angry with her was going to be counter-productive to the lesson that I really wanted her to take from this situation. I could see that she was sorry and really quite embarrassed about the whole situation, which was comforting because hopefully it means that she will think twice about doing it again! We had a long chat about why lying is wrong and we spoke about her classroom punishment and why that was both necessary and appropriate at the time.

At the end of the conversation I told Shahni that I wanted her to write a note to her teacher to apologise. She was very good about it and I let her decide what she wanted to say. This is what she came up with: 'To Mrs Atkinson, I am sorry. I won't tell a lie again. From Shahni'. She wrote it out and we carried on with our day. I didn't shout, I didn't send her to bed early, and I didn't punish her. Instead, I made sure she understood what had happened and then I showed her how to own up and take responsibility for her actions.

The next morning, I explained that we were going to visit her teacher before school so that she could apologise face-to-face and deliver her note in person, rather than letting the teacher discover it in her bag. I didn't want her to feel embarrassed in front of the whole class or to make a big deal out it, but I wanted her to know that the right thing to do is to stand up, be brave and admit when you have made a mistake, after all we all do. I was extremely proud of her when she walked in and handed the note to her teacher, looked her straight in the eyes and said quite clearly that she was very sorry for telling a lie.

I think her teacher just about fell over! She was very surprised and really pleased to see that Shahni had made a real effort. She thanked Shahni and then commented on how lovely her handwriting was and how she must have spent a long time writing it out. I think Shahni actually walked out of that classroom feeling good about herself. How different this experience could have been for her if I had of let my initial reactions take over. Hopefully now, we won't ever have to talk about lying again.

Tristan also experienced an 'incident' (that's what he called it) this week. A lunch time soccer game left him feeling hurt and rejected as his classmates and friends teased him and called him 'pathetic'. It just about broke my heart when he came home crying about it. This kind of thing is something that really gets me mad, not just because he is my son, but because of the impact that it can have on your self-esteem. Having been subjected to this kind of thing myself at primary school I know exactly how much damage it can do. It is something that can take a hell of a long time to recover from, if ever.

I once read an article about a teacher who was teaching her students about what bullying can do to a person. She gave them all a plain piece of paper. New, pristine and with no creases in it. Then she asked them all to screw it up, put it on the floor and jump up and down on it. Then she got them to unfold the pieces of paper and hold them up for all to see. She explained that the their treatment of that piece of paper was exactly like bullying. That even though they had stopped mistreating it, it would never be the same again, there would always be creases and holes and marks on it as a result of their actions and that bullying has the same effect on a person. Just because you grow up and move on with your life, doesn't mean that the effects of bullying are gone. That person will never be the same again, just like the piece of paper will never be clean, flat and new again. Just something to think about.

Back to Tristan ... I really didn't know what I could do to help him. After a bit of a chat it was revealed that what had upset him the most was how a boy who he thought was his good friend, could say stuff like that about him. I decided to phone the boys mum because if it were the other way around, I'd want to know. So I phoned and explained what Tristan had told me. She was horrified (a little like the lying incident actually) and promised that she would call me back once she had spoken to the boys involved.

In the meantime I spoke to Tristan about it, I explained that unfortunately not everyone is nice and next year when he starts secondary school he will probably come across this a lot more. I really didn't have any strategies for him to deal with it and it is hard to know how much to get involved. At the end of the day, this kind of thing has to be dealt with by the child and all you can do as a parent is support your children and let them know that you are always there for them if they need you. I made a point of telling him that I was pleased that he told me, and that he could always come to me even though I may not always be able to 'do' anything to help him. Finally, I told him that you can't be good at everything, and really soccer is a rubbish game anyway and not worth getting upset about!

It turns out that the boy didn't realise he had hurt Tristan's feelings and was himself very upset that Tristan might not want to be his friend any more. His mum said that she had spoken to him and they had their own chat about the consequences of actions. Tristan was invited over for a sleep-over so that the boy could apologise in person and so that they could 'sort it out'. So all is forgiven and the boys have moved on. Excellent result I think and very mature of the other boy to want to apologise in person and not over the phone.

Again, I could have gotten angry and told Tristan that he should not be that boy's friend anymore but that really wouldn't have helped the situation or have made Tristan feel any better about it. It just makes you stop and think how much of an impact our reactions and actions have on our children. The way we deal with situations and the process we go through to solve a problem can have a lasting effect on our children whether we recognise it or not.

And Caillan, well he learned that drawing in books and on our walls gets him a time out on the stairs or in his room!

Trip to the Emerald Isle 2011

Here's some photos of our recent trip to Ireland for Christmas and New Year. We had an awesome time, met some great people, and got to travel around and visit some amazing places.


Blarney Castle. I climbed to the top. To kiss the Blarney stone you have to lay down at that gap at the top, place you hands on the metal bars, then lean down backwards to kiss the stone upside down. Needless to say that once I took one look at the ground my desire to put my lips to a stone that has goodness-knows-what all over it suddenly vanished. The gift of the gab, who needs it, obviously not me!





A scenery shot from around the castle grounds. There is so much to see here and unfortunately we didn't get to see it all. Next time I think I'll plan to stay for the whole day!









Shahni had a great time feeding the donkeys.












This one makes me laugh. Tristan in his Star Wars jumper and Shahni in Shane's coat, what a pair!









A rare picture of Shane relaxing. I'm fairly confident that he enjoyed that Irish Coffee.


















Cheese!












I have loads more photos but it's taking too long to upload so I'll leave it at that I think. If you want to see the rest of the album it's called Xmas in Ireland 2011

Here we go ...

This is my first venture into the world of blogging. Out of a desire to stay connected to family and friends back home in Oz, and in keeping with my New Year's resolution for this year (I'll probably get to that later!) I've decided to attempt, and maintain a place in cyberspace that allows for some reflective thinking and at the same time allows loved ones a glimpse into our life over here in sunny England (add appropriate dose of sarcasm after the word 'sunny').

Shane has been suggesting that I do this for some time now (which he promptly pointed out this morning when I announced that I was going to set one up) but I've always been a little hesitant. Firstly, who on earth would want to read what I've got to say? and secondly, what on earth do I say? I'll figure it out I'm sure, in the meantime have a gander at some of the pictures that I'll put up and skip over the posts that you can't be bothered to read or simply are just the ramblings of someone who should be making better use of her time!